Monkeying around

2006-10-08T17:11:00.000+08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore_Chinese_Girls%27_School#

check this link out!!!
talks about our school
the socks
the mee pok
the new pe tops
and how some students hate them
they even know we dislike them!!!

this is so cool...

2006-10-08T16:54:00.000+08:00

Hi this is extracted from mayn's email to me...
thought it wa quite random but okay whatever

01. What is your full name?? this is a blog
02. What color pants are you wearing?? ermm. i'm wearing shorts. Its navy in color though.
03. What are you listening to right now?? nothing
04. What are the last four digits of your phone number?? 5816
05. What was the last thing you ate?? onion and egg prata
06. If you were a crayon what colour would you be? blue? red? yellow (like a banana)
07. Last Person You Spoke To on The Phone?? my dad
08. The First Thing You Notice about the Opposite Gender?? he is a male. -_-
09. Do you Like The Person Who Sent You This?? yup but she's noisy...
10. ------?? huh?
11. What's Your Favourite Drink?? water chestnut juice
12. What's Your Favourite Alcoholic Drink?? i'm below 18...
13. What's Your Favorite Sport??table tennis/bad-minton.
14. What's Your Hair Color?? brownish black
15. What's Your Eye Color?? check it out yourself when you next see me... (cause i'm lazy to find a mirror)
16. Do You Wear Contacts?? i'm a four-eyed.
17. Siblings and their ages?? older brother, 16, super proud.
18. Favourite Month?? july? (favourite day?? July 18) *hint* *hint*
19. Last Movie You Watched?? i dunno. ermm. did i watch a movie this year?
20. {missing}
21. Favourite Day of the Year?? Chinese New Year
22.Are you too shy to ask someone out?? it really depends on who you are.
23. Summer or Winter?? whats winter like? what's the definition of summer? it is somewhere where all the trees shed their leaves?
24. Hugs or Kisses?? hugs
25. Relationships or One Night Stands?? relationships (once again i remind you that i'm below 18. you are really daring if you wanna have one night stand with me)
26. Chocolate or Vanilla?? mocha
27. Do you want your friends to write back?? umm they can leave comments...
28. Who is most likely to respond?? nobody
29. Who is most likely to not respond?? dunno
30. Living arrangements?? what's this?
32. What's on your mouse pad?? i dun have a mouse pad...
33. What did you do last night?? i went to my er gugu's house to eat mooncake and went to my da gugu's house to sleep.
34. Favourite flavour?? lots!
35. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?? o.o no.
36. What inspires you?? nice people and nice things (:
37. Buttered/Plain/Salted Popcorn?? Buttered/Honey/Salted Popcorn
38. Favourite type of car?? something that is small and easy to park in a parking lot and has nice colors
39. Favourite type of flower?? i'll be very happy if someone gives me already
40. How many keys are there on your key ring?? 3.
41. Can you juggle?? juggle what?
42. Can you put your toes in your mouth?? i can but i wont. yuck.
43. Do you have a crush (or a relationship)?? ermmm...
44. Name of your crush/stead?? read 43's answer
45. Star Sign?? cancer.
46. Favourite Movie?? no preference.
47.Favourite Girl & Boy?? it's BAD to practice favouritism. (:
48. Ever Been Kissed By a Boy/Girl you like?? yepps. my baby cousin brother.
49. Favourite Brand?? its bad to be brand concious.
50. Movies or Series?? both.

I'm done!!!

bye bye

The boat ride to the sea

2006-10-01T10:34:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we took a boat out to the sea to scatter my 二舅's ashes.
By then I thought I had full control of my emotions and I stopped crying ever since the first night of his funeral.
The first half of the boat ride I was calm and tried not to think about my 二舅 but appear happy and laughed at my cousin's seasickness which unfortunately was teased by everyone.

Then the boat stopped and we all went out to scatter his ashes.
I did not cry as i knew 二舅 wouldn't want me to. He was a joker and always wanted us to be happy not sad.

I scooped his ashes and threw them into the sea along with some flowers.
I did not cry.

"Bye bye 二舅."

I watched as the remaining ash were scattered into the sea.
I did not cry.

I quietly went back to my seat next to the window where 二舅's ashes can be seen drifting with the current.
I cried.

I could not help it as i finally realise my 二舅 was gone forever.
My aunt came and comfort me.
She did not cry.

She told me,
"I cried on the first and second day at the funeral, and feel like crying now. But I cannot as 二舅 wouldn't want me to. He is a good man and one of my friends once told me at the funeral that at least 二舅 had a chance to say goodbye. He gave you a rehearsal 3 years ago when he was hospitalised to prepare you for his departure.
Another friend also consoled me by saying a good man will die very peacefully and your 二舅 died very peacefully in his sleep. He was a good man. My friend also said that a good man will have very good ashes as in the shapes are not very sharp but good shapes like balls and not broken pieces.(and I saw one "ball" scattered by my dad). Your 二舅 also has many friends who are of different religions who would pray for him. He should be in heaven now watching over us. If he had survived this heart attack, he could be suffering now. Dry your tears and stop crying ok?"

My 二舅 was a very good man. I vow to get triple science and enter Hwa Chong Junior College for him.

Yingli

2006-09-29T18:36:00.000+08:00

I will always remember him...

I remember the Sundays where i would step on his toes and his fat feet would just lift my whole small body up and down in the air. It might have caused pain to him with all that many Sundays i played with this human swing. but it now hurts me to think about it.

I remember the times when he would always meet up on Sundays and never fail to bring me candies, toys or ice-cream for the already skinny me.

I remember the times when i wanted a handphone like the rest of my classmates and he tried as hard as he could to persuade my parents to get me a handphone. at the end of sec one i got the handphone. it was a China-brand handphone. Even though he thought it was a horrid phone with very little functions, he did not laugh at my hanphone. (its brand was Amoi.)

I remember the times when my birthday was nearing and i knew i would definately get at least a birthday present every year since my parents do not give my birthday presents. He was the one who gave me a present anually.

I remember the times when i was given permission to go to my uncle's house to play arcade games which were bought specially for us but kept in his house as my parents disapprove of them.

I remember watching a video clip on a family trip with all my aunt and uncles. I was only 3 when the video was taken. He was the cameraman who bothered to record down such a wonderful memory where both my maternal grandparents where still alive. He took many shots of the cute 3-yr-old me. He showed me the video just this year during Chinese New Year. I was touched that he still bothered to kept.

I remember the times when i wanted to watch a certain movie, he would bring me to the cinema with his daughter ans watched with me. Once again bombarding me with one large carton of popcorn and a large drink. My parents never thought movies were worth watching and thus almost never ever brought me to the cinema.

I remember that he was an avid fan of Star Wars and made sure i had watched all of them. It was my favourite movies too.

I remember that he was a joker in our family and often made us laugh.

I remember he loves to view cars.

I remember he loves to eat durian and often buys them for us on Sundays.

I remember he was a smoker and once i challenged him to crush his brand new cigarette packet he agreed and took out all the cigarettes and cruched the box only to realise that he left one inside and had to go find scotch tape to salvage it.

I remember my birthday present i received from him when i was 10. It was a forever friend bear. it still with me and i will try to mantain it from now on. It represents my uncle and i will hug it every night in rememberance of him.

I remember him as my second father who dotes on me like his own daughter.

I remember his love for me.

I remember my love for him.

He will always be in my heart.

He will always be my 二舅.

- Yingli -

2006-09-29T18:34:00.000+08:00

I don't know, I'm sitting here now typing slowly an entry that I've planned all day.

Today, at about 6am when I awoke, I received news from my mum that my 二舅 passed away last night around midnight. It came as nothing less than a terribly nasty shock.

It just struck me this morning how screwed up life is. Life is short, fragile, precious, ...I don't know, but above all, it's unfair.

I can't believe someone so nice, so decent, would pass away so early. He wasn't even 50, if I count correctly. My aunt met him in HCJC, first batch or second batch of students, so it's definitely less than 50. Yet, before he even gets to see my cousin get married, he passes away.

I remember my childhood. His appearance on Sundays was always an occasion for joy, I recall that he always had toys for each of us. He'd buy me water guns and I recall the water fight on my tenth birthday. He'd buy things on a whim for each of us, it was just so darned nice of him.

"I thought you'd like that, so I bought it."

I still recall he taught me how to make cardboard fighter jets out of used tissue paper boxes; he'd played with them when he was younger too.

As we grew older, things'd change, but whenever I felt low, whenever I felt sad or discouraged, I always had the feeling I could look to him and he'd be there to smile and tell me to get back there and fight. He'd always be the one to order more food and grin away as we pigged out together at family dinners. I guess, of all of the branches of my family, I felt closest to him, my aunt and my cousin. Sometimes even more than my own family.

I still recall how he made it a point to come down at the end of Sec 1 when I had tickets to the IRS Symposium where I was presenting, it was his presence that mattered the most, it was the best birthday present that I could ever get for my 13th birthday, which was the same day. I'd never forget seeing the ticket wedged on the dressing table in his master bedroom. "So that I won't forget to go."

It was crazy back in Sec 1, my grades were the most screwed up ever but he was the one who looked me in the eye and told me that I could do it, that I could do well and pass. I eventually did, by a whisker of a margin at 3.86 as opposed to the MSG requirement of 4.00. It was for him, and for me. I couldn't disappoint him, not with the look he gave me on the hospital bed after his aorta issue.

I still recall he knew how badly I wanted a phone since I was in Primary Six and he was the one who'd often devise ways and means to get me one, by trying to clear it with my parents via all the different means, setting down definite targets and goals that we could pin them down to. He'd even bought one already, but my parents refused to accept it.

He took me to the Tiger Cup Final, he'd told my parents that I'd have liked it and that was it. When I was worried about hitting home late after the curfew, he just told me to get them to ask for him if I was in trouble.

I still have my red shirt. I still have it in my cupboard, but I'm not wearing it again. I want to keep it as pristine as it as, fresh memories of that outing.

He bought my Xbox from me last year after NSC, and everytime the family gathered his place he'd overload me with snacks, chips, sweets, plenty of computer games and good food. I didn't expect the Christmas party last year to be the last one we'd have with him around.

My dad was right, 明仁 was a name that really fit him.

Yet, he's gone, just like that.

I'm supposed to head down to Singapore Casket later, but some part of me doesn't want to. Some part of me just wants to deny it all and take it as the biggest joke played on me. I cried this morning when it sunk in on me that he was gone, but I stopped because somehow I didn't feel it. His gruff voice replays itself over and over again in my memory; I don't think it's sunk in yet. Maybe it's fitting that I'll be going there in the uniform he wore back in school when he met my aunt.

I don't want it to sink in, but I don't want to live a life away from reality.

I'm going to bloody hell ace my exams. I will. I don't care how much it takes me, but I will do it. It'd been what he'd like anyway, and it'd be my last gift to him; he'd always considered me the brightest spark in the family and looked upon me to produce the results, which I didn't really fulfil, sadly.

二舅, I never did realize how fragile life was, I'd always considered you a constant of life, I assumed that you'd be there to watch me graduate, to watch me date or marry or have kids if I do them at all. But somehow, it's just gone, and you won't be there in presence.

I'll miss you, 二舅.

This blog entry was taken from my brother's blog: http://lanyingjie.livejournal.com/

I'll miss you too, 二舅.
Farewell, 二舅.

Yingli

2006-09-29T18:31:00.000+08:00

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

- Mary Frye

My uncle passed away peacful on Monday night in his sleep.

Yingli

2006-09-29T18:29:00.000+08:00